br0kEn d00rway bAck to the beGinnIng

Normall

2005-10-22T13:16:00.000+08:00

Feeling: nth special
Last Talked To: My SS textbook
Currently Listening To: HEAVEN ( Ayumi Hamasaki )

Ok so its been AGES since i last updated... not sure why i wanna update again now but just tot tt i should. ok, i gt a little prob with uploading files onto my angelfire/tripod/ripway accs and its starting to get irritating! so i decided to blow steam off with my SS text... lolz... first time.

i'll try to upload HEAVEN soon and let everyone hear it. its really gd... and if you want it, you can always ask =D. i dont think i am going to upload anymore mp3s for ppl to download... its kinda breaking the law one way or another. dont wanna get jailed/fine/ smth like the other bloggers... its like being so restricted... i dunno! not my concern anyway...........

Forced into it... blahh...

2005-08-29T21:37:00.000+08:00

Feeling: happy
Last Talked To: Yi xuan...
Currently Listening To: All About You ( Hillsong/United)

ok... now its like... going to be prelims le... and i am still... haha... playing abt. =p even better still, i gt someone to love now... aww.. and she is so sweet. since this is a public blog.. i can possibly say who she is rite? i'll be too stupid... lolz... if its anybody's guess... she is nice and lovely<-- no choice must say if not i'll die.. =x

These few days have been the happiest... but yet... i have this strong urge to study... too many distractions ard me... my next step to better grades.. dismantle my com =/ uninstalling games proved pretty much useless.. haha... the other thing i could do is pray? which... i think i better starting doing today...

So as for today... i din do much.. sch as normal.. then elcot thing... no more ponning this week... last week dunno who asked mi to pon.. asked EVERYBODY to pon... in the end also get scolded by mrs tai. so this week guai already, all go... lolz... then after sch went to je find dear... then that BI-... must go along.. sry hong lun... no more ka... =p then after that walk ard with dear till tuition time... then go tuition do work.. lolz... for the sake of a 5 min break ( in my case, nap) i rushed through my work... still correct okayys! then after that talked with her as i walk home.. haha.. so nice...

then here i am.. blogging though there is a mock exam tmr... how smart of me rite... haha..

one month

2005-08-05T17:36:00.000+08:00

Feeling: Tired
Last Talked To: Sharon
Currently Listening To: Tell The World (United)

Its been a month now... since i last blogged.. and since all the nonsense has ended... its good, in a weird way. I mean... yea, i still feel smth... but in another month or so... things will be fine... totally... just tt now, i really have gt no idea what to do. Things are like so.. blahh-ish.

ok, so in this 1 month, i think i changed more than i did since last year. REally REALLY changed alot... for better or ferr worst? i dunno... studying more now... least i THINK so... more active physcially as well... so, i suppose, things are taking a better turn.. blahh.. i must be boring everyone with this entry. there are things i cant say... so... tts tt...

Life can get no better... ferr what i have lost, i think i gained alot more... and, what i gain is smth not everyone can have. yea its worth it...

things have to go on.. and with the Os just rd the corner, i gotta buck up... so things arnt going to be easy... but i dont wanna let anytihng distract mi anymore... Praise GOD! i shall enter into pioneer JC...

And so it goes...

2005-07-08T17:12:00.000+08:00

Feeling: Tired and a lil confused
Last Talked To: Nette
Listening To: King of Majesty ( United )

So it goes on again... another day in life... sometimes it just occurs to me tt i worry to much... and by worrying.. i affect the ppl ard me.. why worry rite? i worry cos i am afraid... but then, why shoudl i be afraid? my future has been pathed out and all i need to do is to thread it... Come what may, i wont want to feel hurt again... and i wont fall. i think there is nth more to it... if things are to be like that... then what can i do? i mean... as long as i have faith and pray abt it... i'll be fine... and the BIGGEST thing i nid to pray abt... is to let go and to stop worrying for no reason...

i am from the "Y" generation or smth.. and they worry too much... well, cant doubt tt now... i do so too much. but how can worrying help? instead i should be letting the feelin pass mi. enjoy the good moments that comes... and let the bad moments leave... it just hit mi tt... when i do smth that will help ease my worry for abt a mili second, i put pressure on the ppl ard mi... making them sad... i think i gt ALOT of soulsearching to do... and a lot of "coming-to-terms-with" to do with myself..

i believe tt i can do it... its time to stop being my selfish stupid self... its time to grow up... stop being so stupid and being so weird... i want to do what is rite... and what is not out of the ordinary. stop using my brains... someone gave me tt solution to all my probs... sounds great to me.. but things in life is made in such a way that, the human body wont accept things which are new initially... it reacts in a horrible manner... and it does things which dosen help at all.. so its sort of a STUPID thing to do... yet, we all do it.. i do it, you do it...

i think to conclude this... i want everyone to stop worrying and start planning... plan of the good things that will be coming to you soon... and not of the bad things that might happen... being optimistic is not easy.. but, it is the most meaningful way of living ur life... and trust mi, you'll love it... =)

looking ahead

2005-07-03T21:51:00.000+08:00

Feeling: mixed between happy... and a lil down
Last Talked To: Sui Fai
Currently Listening To: My God ( United )

Ok... happy and sad... firstly... sad, missed the outing today... a certain SOMEONE... hee hee, once again didnt come at the last moment... -,-" but thankfully.. i didnt make someone else wait. ok, i am not makin sense but its ok. Happy in the sense tt perhaps.. i still get some encouragement... though i think i am having a lil happiness prob again... bleaahhss.. and its my fault! bang myself against the wall or smth if i have to but i doubt tt'll help..

Trying to stop dotaing... can live without it.. but still.. theres this big WANT TO... oh well.. i am going to slp early from now on... i am going to be good... learnin from someone =p

i still have joy in what i do... i bought this band from ACTS bookshop... " Have Hope"... tts like, just what i needed... i need hope... someone out there.. if you are readin this at anytime... give me more hope ok?

Forever and a day

2005-07-02T13:28:00.001+08:00

Feeling: Better than ever
Last Talked To: Xin Fei
Currently Listening To: Forever And A Day ( Hillsongs )

Life is Great... Maggie burnt these cds for me ( Thanks alot there =D )... from hillsongs and united and its just so good... really makes me wonder why i didnt go for this kinda music in the past... Anyway, my life seems to be like.. so wonderful now. Its almost impossible for mi to explain it.. i just dont feel upset over things anymore... tiny thigns especially.. even if "someone" horr... dun reply to mi... it dosen mean anything more than, " away or busy"... be more understandin... haha.. its weird how all these happens... thanks to God... the impossible has happened.. and i am so greatful for it...

Anyway, this is afterall a public blog... not for mi to go into details... so i'll just simply say... if you feel sad at anytime of a day... dun look at the present... look to the future... plan for smth gd to happen, go out or smth and look forward to it.. i tried it and it works... makes me really happy...

Normal

2005-06-29T19:28:00.000+08:00

Feeling: Normal ( after what has happened... its pretty surprising )
Last Talked To: Xin Fei
Currently Listening To: All I'm Living For ( Planet Shakers )

Ok.. smth major happened today... kinda... but it just didnt hit mi tt hard anymore... anyway.. this entry is more abt my tots than what happened today... i am not a fan of such details...

The thing i feel abt running away from a problem... is tt running dosen solve anything... its the easier and most painless ( temporary ) way of solving something... confronting the thing straight on will hurt the most and its the most difficult path to go... but.. come to think of it... running.. will it help? you will come back to the point where you are forced down the difficult path... all that is managed is to prolong the pain and suffering.. for temporary relief. its like getting drunk, it takes ur worries away but does it help? i ran from a problem recently... but now, i can run no more.. it makes things worst than before... so, i came to a conclustion, dont run... no matter how hard or how pain its going to be... the result is the same even if you run... do smth smart.. dont follow my footsteps... its not worth ur time, your energy, your life...

Besides having a pretty much normal day... cept for the workshop which was a total joke.. i think nth much happened... i am happy.. i am glad... cos no matter wat happens... i gt my faith i can rely on... which is ever rdy... i'll never let it fade...

You made the sunshine, moonlight, nitesky...

2005-06-25T00:23:00.000+08:00

Feeling: Light
Last Talked To: Hong wei/ Sien Wei
Currently Listening To: Better Than Life ( Hillsongs ) <--- Thanks jenni Ok.. today was a really weird day... its like the whole morn feeling very awarkward... then didnt know how to say anything to her at all... then along came jenny... and lightened things up a lil ferr mi... THANKS... then the rest of the day just zoomed by at the library.. doing homework... so much.. i should had started earlier.. but no point complaining now... i can still make it.. I am really realyl confused over what i really want now.. i realy question myself.. and i dunno how to phrase it but.. i am caught between smth like black and white.. and theres no grey.. yea.. so its pretty hard to do anything.. i >duno dunno dunno< .. what am i to do? i cant face it, theres nth to face.. i cant run from it.. i dun even know what i am running from... perhaps maybe... i am running from myself..

what i really need is God... the one and only one who can make me happy.. so i get another GREAT song... its called ( guess it! ) better than life... yeppx.. from hillsong again... hillsong rocks... heres the lyrics

Better than the riches of this world
Better than the sound of my friends voices
Better than the biggest dreams in my heart
and that's just the start
Better than getting what I say I need
Better than living the life that I wan't to
Better than the love anyone could give
Your love is

You hold me now in Your arms You never let me go

And You oh Lord made the sunshine
The moonlight and the nightsky
You give me breath and all Your love
I give my heart to You
Because I can't stop falling in love with You

its just such a great song.. and i really really really love it... Thanks to jenni for sending it to me again.. =D

Its not what you think... its what you feel...

2005-06-21T23:30:00.000+08:00

Feeling: Quite Happy
Last Talked To: Nette/Yuri
Currently Listening To: Hikari ( Utada Hikaru )

Well... today was a good day... and i found out i am very very very greedy... hee hee.. lets see.. i wanted more and more and more and more... kinda upset me though, to see myself wanting so much. So lets see... went to the library today.. to do HOME WORK... thats great rite? xin fei, su wen and carol went.... then did a LITTLE bbit lorr.. how to study? so noisy... sry su wen... =x btw, this is the first time su wen was earlier then anyone of us... though still late... she was the earliest... HAHAHA...

then ard 3 liddat then eat lunch... saw "someone" so hungry lehh... then my food gt cheese, she cant eat... TOO BAD =p so i didnt finish my math homework... BIG DEAL... ended up going home alone... like so sad liddat. end up playing dota with adrian they all... then go out with mum already... i wanted the afternoon to go on forever actually... =x... Then i can finish my work...

oh btw.. i added a mp3 section here... songs that i really really like? yea.. hope it dosen interfere with any law or anythign.. just for sharing... but if it does break any law whatsoever, i'll take it down... dun abuse it though... hope you all like it...

Reassurance

2005-06-20T10:03:00.000+08:00

Feeling: NOT reassured
Last Talked To: Si Ya and Sin Hong
Currently Listening To: Magnificent ( Hillsongs )

Well... what do ppl nid reasssurance for? If they can carry on doing things not knowing if the end will work out for them... Thats why i nid reassurance... but if you dont provide it then... it just makes my job THAT much harder...

Its really painful when you wait ferr smth.. and in the end you get smth else... dun you have to agree on that? thats why we must have reassurance that what we get is what we want and plan for... not just present smth now and give no reassurance that thats what you will get in the end...
But thankfully... i get some reassurance once in a LONG while.... just hope its really the truth ok? it keeps mi going... and it keeps the devil outta my life by poisoning my tots... i really hope things will work out the way i imagined... and tt you will be happy XD... or am i fooling myself?

Lyrics to Magnificent

[Verse 1:]
Who compares to You?
Who set the stars in their place?
You who calmed the raging seas
That came crashing over me.

[Verse 2:]
Who compares to You?
You who bring the morning light,
The hope of all the earth
Is rest assured in Your great love.

[Chorus:]
You are magnificent,
Eternally wonderful, glorious.
Jesus, no one ever will compare (last time to tags)
To You, Jesus.

[Verse 3:]
Where the evening fades,
You call forth songs of joy.
As the morning wakes,
We Your children give You praise.

Jesus, no one ever will compare
To You, Jesus.
No one ever will compare
To You, Jesus.

A Great song... With Greater Lyrics...

Early morn...

2005-06-16T10:27:00.000+08:00

Feeling: Awake
Last Talked To: ---
Currently Listening To: Find Your Way Back ( Michelle Branch )

Ok, i just woke up... and yea.. i changed the skin yesterday... guess its the best i could find ard. Gosh... someone is coming baqq tmr!!! Finally!!! After so long... sheesh...

Theres nth much to blog EARLY in the morning... so i'll keep it simple... Geog work is never ending... you keep doing.. and it dosent stop.... more and more and more and more and more... i really question the sanity of doing it... like, how many mcqs are there? 400? thats a consolation amt... well.. i better get started... hols hw are not ment to be passed up.. but do it ferr your own sake all the same =) it can really help...

Stop the torture.... please.... stop...

2005-06-12T19:29:00.000+08:00

Feeling: Tortured
Last Talked To: Yuri, Xz, Kau
Currently Listening To: 楽園 (Do As Infinity)

I am being tortured... deep within me.. i pray for it all to stop... yet... i cant find a way to stop the torturing... its just there... constantly reminding me that she is not here... its a horrible feeling... and shes leaving soon.. i dunno what to do, i really dont... and theres no guiding star for me... i am lost. what should i do?

This is one of the worst feeling in my life... i cant stand it.. its like i dont exist anymore. Who would want a feeling like this... but... some how... it was my fault... and i hate myself for it... yet... the torture is already punishment iteself... its a very complicated thing...

I want to cry... yet, i have no more tears
I want to forget... yet, that memory dosen fade
I want love... yet, i cant...

If this isnt torture... i dont know what is... its always there.. nth i do can get me out of it... and no one ard me knows... whats the point of going on?

I see a rainbow...

2005-06-11T00:48:00.000+08:00

Feeling: dead tired
Last Talked to: yuri/ck/ hong wei/ xz ( all in dota)
Currently Listening to: Worthy To Be Praised ( New Creation )

i feel so much better today... yea.. not really so much better.. but still.. at least its better... well.. things are just liek that.. what can i do? she chooses what becomes of mi... and i think she made a rite choice... no matter what that choice is... =D So.. i think i am going to bed now... just to let everyone know.. i am still alive and i didnt kill myself last nite... the torture is over.. it feels like being brought out of all the pain in the world..

New skin... again

2005-06-08T20:44:00.000+08:00

Feeling: Quite happy and a lil blue
Last Talked To: Xin Fei(sms)
Currently Listening to: I wanna go to a place... (Rie Fu)

Ok, a New skin... a new day... a new life... its time i changed... and now its only for the better... i want no more of all the stupid things i have done... all the wrongs i have made... its time to correct my attitude to life...

It just struck me that, things of the past arnt really the past... it still resurfaces one day to haunt you... not a gd feeling, trust me. HOWEVER, things arnt always that horrible... =D its how you solve it... and how you face it...

Nth more i guess... pretty simple life... just that now in class.. tings are fun, and sometimes, irritating... but thats FHS 4D '05... cant blame... the most famous class in FUHUA history... " You all come from a good sch(Fuhua)" Mdm Oen... ermm... like whatevaa... maybe cos i dun really agree with the way you handle the schh... but i think you're an ok person...

Thats it for now... take care...
I Love You...

Words... Swords...

2005-06-07T20:58:00.000+08:00

Feeling: lil upset
Last Talked To : Jennifer ( MSN )
Currently Listening To: One Way ( Hillsong)

Words and Swords are just different by one letter S... and i think they are just abt as harmful as they are simliar... dont agree? i mean... the thigns you say can make a person feel on top of the world.... or just as low as hell... really frustrates me when i am feeling low and trying to fond consolation in someone when another person comes and asks you to " go away, shut up, buzz off". Cant understand why they have to do such a thing at times...

I was at the dentist today... fixing my braces and it was so freakin painful... i mean like i dunno whats he doing and at the end my mouth was so filled with blood... till now it hurts like anything... ppl, dun fix ur teeth... you are gonna lose it on 50 years anyway... pain is horrible

So my story goes... but i think its just one dead end... its painful... i think i've made lots of wrong choices but i cant do anythign abt them anymore... i do stupid things.. only to feel miserable later... such is life... maybe its only for me... but still..........

Quote :"Harmless things to you could be hurting to another"

Weird...

2005-06-05T22:29:00.000+08:00

Feeling : Pretty moodless... no idea why...
Last talked to : Ermm... hours ago.. cant rmb...
Currently Listening To : One Way ( United Live )

Dunno why.. feeling so sian today... like.. no mood to do anything... so eeky. i should be happy rite? just be happy... but some how that happiness just seemed to have vanished... all i am left with is sianess... bleahss... what can i do? hw... hw... hw... see already want to vomit. Then "some ppl" lor... suppose to go out one... always cannot -,-" end up i stay home play dota with ck they all.. lolz... my life is so fun rite? dota dota dota... slp slp... eat... dota again...

So now.. i have this crazy idea that if i go yahoo and search for ayumi hamasaki, i'll be able to find smth i can dl... which appears to be pretty useless... nvm, life is boring ferr mi today... btw, i gt my k750i... =p

guess tts abt it ferr today... nth special... nth great... just a ted above wonderful =D... i talked to herr today... kinda made me happy... though she... er... nvm... lolz... wun and cant go into details... just be happy, to eveyrone who reads this...

Take Care & Be Free

trust? meaningless word...

2005-05-28T22:11:00.000+08:00

Feeling : Irritated
Currently Listening To : Reason ( Tamaki Nami )
Last Talked To : Yi Xuan

Chi o is in 2 days... i care? yeppx.. i do... damn well do... if i can pass it this once, i wun have to study chi no more... that rocks rite? chi sucks...

Trust, is it really tt impt? yes it is to me... but to my mum... i mean, hello? how old am i? i went down to play bball... after feeling so horrible from all the thigns happening to me.. and guess what. she wouldnt let me down alone... thats horrible man... she even psychos me... DUHH.. i can tell, cos she does what i do best... oopz.. =x

So, anyway, my phone is outt? k750i... after waiting for like 2 months... holy banana.. its out... and once again, my mum wun let me buy it... crappy... sucks dosent it? to wait for smth for so long and in the end you cant get it at all...

Goshhh.. my whole life is messy noww... only thing that makes me really happy is to go out with friends... talk to the birdy <--- hong lun i am not ka-ing btw... its a well known fact... ONE more thing... me and jun ming foudn this really cool helmet for yong han at the chevrons toilet.. its actually the top of a toilet seat... lolz.. damn funny when he told me that..

Quote of the day : life sucks only when you suck...

so long ago

2005-05-19T17:09:00.000+08:00

Feeling : sleepy
Currently listening to: Winding road Classical~ (Ayumi Hamasaki)
Last Talked To : Myself?

This place is getting dead... bleahs... nth much to type here anyway? Nvm, least i am not dead... This time's exam rockkss... l1r5 = 28... ITE here i come... either tt or i am going to try nursing... er.... nahh...

From now on, my updates are gonna be short, just for the fun of writing smth... once in a while? since theres nth to say here anyway... =/ Anyway, nette gt me my b dae present and jennifer too... ok, Nette got me this really cool cd? My story classical by ayu... and WOW, its gd... i tell you.. though there this weird thing behind of the case which reads " Expires May 2009"... -,-" Expires? CD? dont think it goes together.. whats gonna happen then? melt my cd?ehhh....

Jennifer got mi this really nice thing too... its actually a picture frame made of arcylic or however you spell it, so its like semi transparent... reddish pink with hearts ard it... really really really nice... gt so attaracted to it... haha...

Guess tts abt all.. nth else alreadyy...

Sentence of the day " Turning Signals For Cars Are Only Used To Pass The Driving Test"

Secret obsession

2005-05-10T21:12:00.000+08:00

Feeling : Flying high....
Last talked to : Bernice (msn)
Currently listening to: Moments ( Ayumi Hamasaki)

Midi playing in the background is Every Heart, thanks to Denise

I am freaking mad abt this song... lolz... anyways, what was i going to say? nvm... okayy, so everyone is studying hard now.. and i am playing away... lil bit nia, so no harm done. i mean like.. wth, study so hard for what? end up working anyways...just be happy lahx...

tmr, phy and a math paper 2... how to pass? very simple... find all yoru formula and learn to use it... SURE CAN PASS ONE...unless of cos you are like me... then diff case

ok, so whats this secret obsession of mine? its a freakin cartoon, trust mi to stil be in a mood fer tis... its Dave the barbarian on Disney Channel ( unleash the inner child in you!!! ) and my fav char is Chukles The Silly Piggy... why? cos the name ROX... imagine calling yourself smth lyk tt... Kar Seng The Freakin Fatty... ok... tt didnt go too well... Still, its fun ritez?

SO guess tts all le lah... everyone studying.. machiam i dun nid liddat... everyone.. just 2 more days... dun feel like studying must still anyhow do the paper...

Tip of the day : Sometimes its better if you shuddup and laugh at a mindless joke...

Just another day.... norrttt

2005-05-01T00:49:00.000+08:00

Feeling : HAPPY
Currently lestening to : You Set Me Free (Michelle Branch)
Last Talked to : Chin kiat

Ok, believe it or nortt... i am dota-ing now. haha... while blogging.. Anyways, the last post was a little... horrible, okayy nvm that person... So, i am happy now, why? i dunno... tmr is going to be a GREAT dae... i know it i know it, cept for the fact that i have not been studying hard... =/

NVM, look at the time its already 12 40, and what have i been doing? you guessed it, nth -,-" lets see, if anyone wants any mp3 from me, you can always ask okayy? so monday is free, but is it enuff for mi to study? is all his studying worth anything for you int he future? lets say, Worst Case senario, you become a full time waiter, are you going to use anything for yoru job? Y=mX + C... hell no, it would be useless

Now, lets see Best Case Senario, you are a multi-millionaire, you sit ard whole day making sure things are ok... so, wheres the use of dy/dx now? so why are you studying now? does it help your future? the only thing i see useful abt studying so hard... is to be a teacher... and man, that would be a real pain... imagine all the probs you gave yoru chers, all back to you.. bleahs...

okayy, nvm.. i am here to study, not to qn this stupid system.... time for bed already anyway... Nyt all...

Dear Readers... OPEN UR DAMN EYES

2005-04-25T22:54:00.000+08:00

Feeling: CRAP UP
Listeing to : NTH
Last talk to: -----

First of all i would like to say thank you. To some ppl who has got no damn eyes to read! yoo hoo, did i mention the word "UPSET"? misunderstood does not = UPSET. neither does MESSY = UPSET. THERES A DIFFERENCE and only an idiot wouldnt be able to tell the difference. First, the spelling is different, next, upset means unhappy! misunderstood means To understand incorrectly. Some people just needs specs... but, WOULD THAT BE ENUFF?!?!
Sure, just a little telling here and a little sharing there... These blogs are not ment for ppl to start their own new trends of gossips nor slander others... its for you to read, give a comment at most and jsut forget abt the rest of it. Do you know, what can go wrong? HUH? you are damn rite, a whole lot of things can go wrong. YOU, a single being in this world, would be able to drive friends apart, thrash kinship, but noe this, i am not for you to play with... and i hate the idea of spreading smth that i didnt say... did i accuse you wrongly? plz read the previous post again... and this time OPEN YOUR DAMN EYES... they are ment for you to use... and use it CORRECTLY!

hur hur hur

2005-04-21T16:43:00.000+08:00

Feeling: Good, i think
Last talked to: Jing Zhi
Currently listening to: Walking Proud ( Ayumi Hamasaki )

Ok, last nite... i was suppose to study like, lotz? geog test today and a math hw but end up... talking on the phone with nicole... lolz... just seems like, her life is pretty messed up, also dunno why... sounds like kar seng... NAH! kar seng sux? muhahaha.... a New warcraft 3 map is going to be out DOTKS ( Death Of The Kar Seng )... hey, it'll be GREAT okayys? anyway, from what nicole said, i think lots of ppl misunderstands her? i mean lyk, i was one of them too ritez? and i hardly even know herr.... bleahs... nvm, zhao hong just thinks she is fugly... -,-"

ok, so i was suppose to be studying.. not sure why, i jsut cant seem to study noww... blah blah, i feel like zi xiang... OH MY GOSH! but fear not, i dun pian xiao mei meiz... only big onez =x... oopz... oh nvmz... this mid year is going to be bad for me again.... gotta buck up.. yep yep! sooo, anyone wants to go out this week end?

Feeling GREAT

2005-04-10T23:08:00.000+08:00

Feeling : Better Than Expected
Last talked to: Adrian
Currently listening to: Worthy To Be Praised ( New Creation Live Worship)

This morn.. i slpt in late... till 11 plus... lolz.. guess what woke me up? lil doggie came licking my face... and when i opened my eyes... i saw this ^^ looking at mi... lolz... kinda weird huh? ok, so he had a late breakfast... he was soo excited when i fed him... only to dissapoint him with his usual feed... bleahs.. imagine eating the same thing everyday your whole life... so i try to give a little smth else... not that it really matters... then at rd 1 plus i left for church

CHURCH ROX! haha.. pastor prince gave a really gd talk today? and my fav part, Romans 11 verse 6 "if it is by grace, it is not by work otherwise grace is no longer grace. But if it is by work, it is no longer grace otherwise work is no longer work " pretty cute huh? anyway, he was talking abt leaving everything to God instead of doing things yoruself. As in, if you want to do smth rite, just let go of it, and let God do it all for you. Surrender it to him. IF he cant do anything MUCH LESS YOU! rite? so i think i am letting God take control of my life from now on... no more worries what will happen next, what friends i'll get... cos i believe everyone of them is G8!

so its late now you say? YEA so what? i got gd slp over the weekends... lolz... but stil.. *yawn*. no one is perfect, buy seeing everything they do as perfect, makes the world a better place... dont see someone for his/her flaws... see him for who he is... ok, i am not making sense anymore... hahaha.... time for bed... nite all...

Sick~

2005-04-05T18:56:00.000+08:00

Feeling: Sick
Last talked to: .... cant remember
Listening to: Jewel Song (BoA)

Ok... this is really what i call YUCK. I dont feel too well... thats why i stay at home instead of going to school... and to skip my chinese test! MUhahaha... but xiao lao shi is going to give it to me tmr! oh for the love of all that is good, cant you just forget it? Ma-chiam i stay home will study your test liddat =x oh my gosh? what did i just say? Hey, i AM sick ok? so what did i do today? well, You guess it! sleep lah! then? sleep sleep sleep... i kept looking at the time, 8Am... ZZzzZZ... 11Am...zzZZzz... 2Pm.... lolz... it just keeps going and going and going!

So out of being super bored... i remade my blog? WOW ISNT THAT JUST THE MOST USEFUL WAY TO SPENd YOUR AFTERNOON... yea yea, ok i get the point... study for chinese...zzz.... i just found the best way to study for yoru tests, go slp, dun think abt it... then next day get a MC.. it works! Try It... ok... no teacher should be reading this...

what else? hmm... there is this serial bird flu going on in class... from what i heard... oh well, what to do? we have such a big bird in our class, Bound to spread one what... so what to do? find the root of the prob and solve it... Get rid of Hong LUN! =X all in favour TAG AYE!

Commitment

2005-03-25T11:44:00.000+08:00

Feeling: Daze ( just woke up =p)
Last talk to: DUH i JUST woke up...
Currently listening to: Walking Proud (Ayumi Hamasaki)

This works in its own mysterious ways. For once, i experienced commitment beyond what i expect it to be. And if you are wondering if i found someone, the answer is no. It works like this, i started out with something i didnt expect to be so commited to, just one of your everyday things and i just had doubts doing it some times. couldnt stay totally commited to it, but after a week of it, i stopped.... totally stopped. only to find that after yet another week, it is something i am extremely commited to, i didnt treasure it as much in the past, and now i regret it... totally. To all of you who reads this, PLEASE remember that being commited to something is importamt, weather you feel like you want to do it or not, just stay commited to your task. Dont ever give it up... it could be your greatest mistake in life...

Looks like good friday is today, must be great... MY saviour Died for me today, 2005 years ago. anyway,i woke up late today and while on the bed, i thought through some stuffs, things that were really... how should i put it.... emotional? i guess i could say that, not sure why, but things are really getting to me today. feeling a little off myself, but thats good.... now i wont have the mood to play anything... hahaha...Well, i better get started with life, its useless to have it but not use it... God bless to all who "passed by"...

Life

2005-03-15T10:57:00.000+08:00

Feeling: lil blue
Last talked to: yvonne (over phone), Sin hong(MSN)
Current song playing: JIRENMA (Every Little Thing)

its is such that it plays tricks on you. it makes you high, it drags you low. One thing you should know is that you must never let it get the better of you. Be it smth good or smth bad that happens to you, take things in yoru stride, dont freak out over it. And if you are wondering if this has a special meaning, NOPE. Its just one of those days where you feel you got smth to share... thats all.

Ok, things for me have been pretty normal. Cept for playing a lot now. REALLY, its a lot. got an ipod shuffle. pretty sleek and small, works well as a thumb drive that plays mp3....considering the price. i am not promoting it btw, its just pretty good to use. anyway, back to things, this exam was not a good one one me... really horrible i should say, my l1r5 is like, 20? ok, though my science grades rox, its still really useless to get anything higher then 75, besides showing off that you mastered that subject. pretty stupid too... so anyway, i guess i should be studying more now... all my days had been pretty blue, all sorts of reasons but, no matter, life goes on... and on... and on...

Do you feel what i feel?

2005-03-04T16:56:00.000+08:00

Mood: B~L~U~E
Last person talked to over msn: Jun Ming
Current song playing: SEASONS ( Ayumi Hamasaki)

Ok, this might be one of those blue days you get when you are too upset... the thing is.. i am too tired... way too tired to feel upset. This can be a really horrificious feeling... you are sad/ angry over smth and yet cant vent yoru anger or cry yoru eyes out... its like being a bird in a cage. I want to devoid myself of all feelings.... yet i cant bear to... GEE isnt this troublesome? What can i do? i try to be happy.. but once again i am out of energy.... this is just a never ending circle... going round and round and round... and by the time you figured out what is going on... you are already dizzy from all the tailing... hmm.. this is a good experience in life... when you experience this... it shows that you are ready to handle more then what needs to be handled...

No matter, i will just think of a way to solve everything... give somethings up... grab some new ones... and just be happy... life is like a roller coaster ride... there are ups and downs... trilling loops and boring up slopes... but HEY, the good comes over the bad... its all about being positive...

SAVED!

2005-02-08T16:15:00.000+08:00

Mood: B~L~U~R
Music i Am Listening To: Field of Dreams ( Do As Infinity)
Last chat with: Nette

well.. the title tells it all... its quite... amazing, how i didnt get scolded at all for everything i done.. or rather, didnt do... BLAH! i dunno how to say it but its like... for the very first time, i cant understand whats going on with the chers... haha.. its as if they lost their normal self. which is... GREAT!

No idea why, but i think i am torturing myself staying up so late now... Just played DotA! haha.. yea agree its kinda stupid to play it over and over again.. but like.. who cares? its the company that i like anyway... but theres always work to do... not smth thats nice huh? everyone just gotta do it... so be happy about it... whats the diff if you are upset? you are still going to have to do it.. might as well do it with JOY! How did i get to talking about this? O.o nvm, guess i'll stop here... got more things to do... =D

F~E~A~R Redefined

2005-02-07T15:33:00.000+08:00

I wun really call it fear... but i think i am going to get pwned tmr! LEts see.. my log worksheet is in school... WOW! then theres my e math text book... in school too! BLAH.. worst off, my e math test paper is also in school...

I remember.. PSALM 23 : 4 "though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil" and i am pretty sure i am going to walk through that valley tmr... i got nth to fear... haiz... better slp soon... its getting late... i still got CNY deco to do! i am like.. what the hell? put mi in charge? how much artistic work can you get from someone who scored like.. umm.. 19 for arts and craft? lolz... thats upon 100 if you have to know...

Anyway, i got hold of a cd, " you gave" ? but New Creation... no idea why i got it... but its pretty cool... i mean like... once in a while, eng music is refreshing... all jap is a little too much... HEAVY, i think thats how to phrase it...ok.. WHATEVER! time for bed... headach coming.. nitey nite... =D God bless you all

Dead Tired

2005-02-05T14:40:00.000+08:00

Seriously... can anyone got more tired then i am now? There was sch this morn... did smth real stupid in the afternoon... DUN RUB IT IN! i am trying to forget it... anyway... i had tution after that and here i am!
theres more i wanna say anyway, miss maha, ok she is a gd teacher.. or so i tot... for some reason, she came over to me today and screamed so loudly " YOU DIDNT COME HERE TO LISTEN TO YOUR MUSIC!" Duh... i am not the only one.. you dun have to shout? i am not deaf? besides... i am not even from your house... so what if you are the HEAD MISTRESS of green hse? i am from BLUE! Bleahs... i've sinned, forgive mi... just didnt seem fair when you didnt care about other ppl who were listening to it... maybe co si am tired thats why i am cranky...who knows? Besides, i was already having a horrid day without more ppl screaming their house cheers... my head hurts... oh forget it, whats the point of going on... i mean, i would rather sleep then to think about this... then again... i just didnt find it fair and i cant stand it...

A REMAKE!

2005-02-03T13:30:00.000+08:00

Wow this is going to be like so fun... i remade the whole blog, given the thing a new name and a new face... somehow this oen seems to suit mi better... well at least i dont feel odd looking at it... lolz... anyway, CNY is coming? not that i really like it... just that i get to go shopping...AGAIN. wahahaha... i feel like an idiot. BLeahs, got work to do... all these test.. heh...

Woosh....

2004-12-10T16:25:00.000+08:00

Is it just me or am i really lazy? well... the latter sounds better =D anyway its been so long since i added anything? well.. guess theres somethings to go through... hmm... i got an IR port... and its like hell difficult to just get it started... the drivers wont work... com is soooooo slow *yawn*. well anyway theres more to life then a stupid thing that cant even work.. BLAH! For one... doggie is trying a new way to diet... he eats sho much in the morn.. that he dosen nid to eat anythign for the rest of the day.... -,-""" cool huh? Guess i better catch up on slp now... its so late. and one LAST thing before i do... i manage to find BLAZ'IN BEAT by move on mp3. if anyone wants it.... just tell mi ya?

i Dont like this...

2004-11-30T15:40:00.000+08:00

Ahh.. this is the best day since sch closed! i cant seem to find the energgy to do anythign at all today... its like i am so lifeless... and somehow.. I managed to break my chain in such a way that it seem imposseible to put it back... doggie is trying a diet stunt and i dont know hwo to make him eat mroe now... haiz... i feel so...so... fustrated with everything... maybe its just me.. or maybe i am just too tired to know what i am really feeling... but i want it to stop.. and i want my chain back.. i like it very much... i guess its time to try to get it fixed again...

First blog!

2004-11-27T22:20:00.000+08:00

Hi all.. this is the first time i am doing this... without any help =p the last one was horrible... couldnt post anything... lolz... emmy helped though.. thanks alot to her but some how it just wouldnt work... nvm.. i made another one... and the name is quite the same lah... so should be kkz? so if theres anything i should change or do.. do tell me or.. rather.. HELP me! Well its kinda pinkish... GOSH i really dont know how to change it.. the pic is a lil odd... blah blah... no idea how to make it rite... but anyway, do tag or smth... really.. this blog is brand new... lolz... so i would nid just a little more help... ok, more the better... muhaha...